keep the hope

today is the day.

surgery day.

when i scheduled the surgery about a month ago, i knew i would be a little nervous on the actual day. can you blame me? two inch incision to remove any other remaining cancer on my shoulder and a biopsy through my armpit to remove a lymph node or two to determine if the cancer went anywhere else. it’s precautionary…i think. and i’ve been told. it’s just hard to grasp, you know?

and while i’m nervous for the surgery…i’m terrified for what comes after it. the results.
in church on sunday we had a priest visiting and give mass. he talked about how Christmas is hope. and how during the holidays, God does some pretty magical things. and i’m not saying i believe he was talking about making cancer results negative. i know he was talking about the meaning of Christmas.
but ironically, he talked about the 21 of this month. the 21 is the expected time when i will receive my results. he talked about how that day, in scriptures, is a magical day. a hopeful day. a day to rejoice.

i believe in god winks. and i am hoping, and praying, that is what that was: that on the 21, i will get a phone call and the word “negative” will be spoken.

don’t worry…i’m staying positive.
and keeping the hope.

p.s. i might be away for a few days. i’ll try to sneak in a few updates on twitter (@_lovealexandria) and i’ll probably be on pinterest (ohjeezlouise) and instagram (lovealexandria__) throughout the week if anything.

a little change for the holidays

i needed a change. and honestly…this feels a little bit more like me right now. and i kind of love them. even if i am still trying to learn how to manage them.

products used: pureology and pantene volume mousse.

and i have to admit. the head massage after my shampoo and conditioner felt amazing after the month i’ve had. Monday i found out that i have to have a larger portion of skin removed to make sure the cancer is gone and i also have to have a sentinel node biopsy. all in the same day during the same surgery. little nerve wrecking because i know i’ll have to wait to find out if the cancer had spread. and that scares me.

but today… i had some good definitive positive news. no more skin cancer! the one on my shoulder was a fluke which somehow makes me feel better.